Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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