Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Randomize
