im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
