the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
