I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
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