don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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