So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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