It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I just gargled with NyQuil
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
