Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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