My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
