no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
