who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
