I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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