And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
as a side note pls kill me
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Randomize
