Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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