Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Watching her eat just hurts me
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
