Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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