I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Randomize