You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
