ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
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