Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
Randomize
