He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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