Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
