you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
Dont worry about the blood on the pillow. its from my face.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Sorry about my life...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
Randomize
