Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Randomize
