me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
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