I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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