I molested 6 butterflies tonight
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
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