i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Randomize
