He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
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