Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
look no pants
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
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