You really coming over, don't trick.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Randomize
