I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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