Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
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