I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
