based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
