piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
one word: firstdatebathroomanal
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
There's always time for handjobs
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize