Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Randomize
