I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Boobs are out for the taking
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Randomize
