Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Randomize
