Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Randomize
