That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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