we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
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