So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
