What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Randomize
