I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
