I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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