I must be too annoying 4 u.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
