yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Randomize
