two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize