I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
