He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize