just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
