i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Randomize
