the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
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