Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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