Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I refuse to have sex with you and your eBay condoms.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
How naked do you want me to be?
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
