bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
