Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize