i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
