farters have to be the big spoon...
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
Randomize