I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
i came on her dog
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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