whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Randomize
