I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
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