He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
