the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Randomize