this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
