So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
he wants to bone in the snuggie
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Randomize
