So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
