is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
