Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
bring money and cleavage
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I don't deserve a penis
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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