I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
