I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
