She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
