Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
