It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
