put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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