Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Randomize