Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
well you can't waste a boner
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
His front door was open but I INSISTED on army crawling FOOT FIRST under the garage door. Then I peed the bed.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
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