Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
